How I work · Online or in person · Salt Lake City, Utah

One aim: you, able to trust yourself again.

Most coaches shrink themselves down to one label. Mine isn't religious trauma, or faith transitions, or grief, or shame. Those are doors into the same house, and the house is self-trust. Whatever got you looking, the work underneath tends to be the same.

Everything on this page is in service of that. The method, the practices, the story of how I got here. If you would rather just talk, the first conversation is free.

The first move isn't getting rid of the shame.

Shame is almost always trying to protect you from something, and it learned that job a long time ago, for reasons that made sense at the time. So instead of fighting it, we get curious. Oh. Shame is showing up. What is it protecting me from? Once you can actually see it, you get to choose how to move with it. Not react. Choose.

Shame will absolutely make you behave. It will not make you honest, and it will not make you someone you like. I am not interested in helping anyone become smaller.

Judgment, then curiosity, then self-trust. That's the whole road.

Notice. Unlearn. Choose.

Not a program. Three moves you cycle through for as long as you're alive. It just helps to know which one you're in.

There's no one right way to help a human being. If you think best on a trail, we hike. If your nervous system needs breath before words, we start there. You don't have to perform here. You show up on the day you're actually having, and we get curious together instead of reaching for a verdict.

• Mirror work. You say something kind to yourself and notice what argues back. Whatever argues is the work.
• Breathwork. State before insight. Lengthen the exhale and the body stops bracing.
• Somatic awareness. Shame doesn't live in your reasoning. It lives in your jaw, your gut, your shoulders.
• Psychedelic preparation & integration. Most of what an experience turns out to be worth is decided in the weeks around it. I'm trained as a facilitator and an integration coach, and I'll be specific about what that includes before we begin.

I'm not going to tell you what to believe or how to live. If you've left a high-control belief system, you have excellent reasons to distrust anyone handing out answers.

So… who am I?

Honestly, I'm still figuring that out.

I grew up Mormon. Mission, BYU, marriage, career, kid. Then I left the church, my dad died, my marriage ended, and underneath all of it was a question I had never learned to ask.

What do I actually want?

Not what should I want. Not what would make somebody else happy, or make me look like a good person. What do I want? That question has taken me through breathwork, meditation, psychology, spirituality, grief, shame, and all the weird ways we learn to leave ourselves. I've also tried a few things I probably wouldn't recommend to everyone. 😂

Slowly I've gotten better at something that matters more than having answers: I can hear myself now. I notice when I'm earning approval, when I'm should-ing myself, when shame is running the show. And instead of immediately trying to fix myself, I get curious.

Being a dad is the part I didn't see coming. My kid doesn't care how capable I am or how much I can carry. They notice whether I'm actually here, which is a harder standard than any job ever set me, and a much better one.

So if you're in one of those seasons where the life you've been living doesn't quite fit any more, maybe we should talk. You don't have to have it figured out first. I certainly didn't.

A spiritual life, without abandoning yourself to get one.

I'm not spiritually neutral, and pretending otherwise would be its own small dishonesty. I have wrestled with God. With the church I grew up in, with plant medicine, with Buddhism, with long stretches of believing nothing at all. I'm still wrestling. I just stopped needing an institution to hand me the answer.

Stay, leave, come back, build something nobody has a name for. Believe more than you did, or less. I am not going to tell you what God wants, whether to forgive, whether to stay. I have watched too many people be told exactly that, by someone very confident, to want the job.

What I will do is help you get honest enough to hear yourself, and brave enough to trust what you hear. Which turns out to be most of it.

Where you land is genuinely yours. I have no stake in it.

You should feel something in the first hour.

You should feel something in the first hour. Most people leave the first conversation lighter than they came in, and go home with something they can use that night. The deeper work, the patterns and the story you didn't choose, is slower and gentler than people expect. That's where the change stops needing maintenance.